this love of ours is terrible news

If I had the choice of possessing any one talent in the world I think I would choose to be musically gifted. I would love to be able to write music, play it, and sing it.

I have attempted multiple times to write a song on the guitar. Every time I fail miserably. I guess music just isn't my forte.







I have to settle with simply enjoying the musical talent of others.

if only

how in the world did my life come to this?

i never could have imagined that i would be in the position i am in. life sucks sometimes. right now especially.

 

friends can really let you down.

flying

This morning Hay, Kels, and I got to go on a hot air balloon ride.
It was incredible:)

happily ever after

I have my whole life planned out for me. Move out, go to UVU, become a dental hygienist, get married, have a family, live happily ever after. Blah blah blah. Sometimes that life sounds like a great one and I can't wait for it to come. Recently though I have been taking a second look at "my future". Don't get me wrong, it would be a great life, but where is the excitement?

It feels wrong to have your life planned out. Life will never turn out exactly how you want it to. So why dream up your perfect future and be disappointed when it isn't the fairytale you imagined it to be? Everyone has a tough life in some way or another. "No one said it would be easy, they only said it would be worth it". Cliche, but true. I say, live your life. Do what makes you happy. The perfect life will find you. As it says in Dan in Real Life: "instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised".

All of this aside, I do plan on a happily ever after.

in the middle of the night

in the middle of the night when i'm in this dream

it's like a million little stars spelling out your name

you gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

 come on, come on

Untouchable. I love Taylor Swift. Thanks Becca for showing me this song. It is so pretty.

calculator

bah. i wish i could put a specific word to how i am feeling.

am i happy? i don't think so.
i do smile. i most definitely laugh. just.. not like i used to.

tears come to my eyes too easily. i can't get that one thing off of my mind. i constantly have a pit in my stomach that will never go away. my chest aches. i don't understand how i can be in pain physically over something that is hurting me emotionally.

loneliness is
the worst feeling
i have felt.

i hate taking on life alone.

home sweet home

I'm not ready to move on.

I'm not ready to move on in lots of areas of my life.

I am most especially not ready to move out of my house and grow up.


I am moving out to an apartment for school, which I am extremely excited for. But, I was counting on being able to come home to visit my family. Now I have found out that my family is moving. 17 days before I move into my apartment. I get to move twice in less than a month. I know this shouldn't worry me but it does. I want to come visit my real home. Not some home I lived in for two weeks.

Moving out means growing up. I do feel like a grown up already but moving out on my own is a huge step. One I'm not ready for. But ready or not it's coming. Too fast.