you hurt me,
you know you did
you left my chest empty

I moved on,
got new friends; got a life.
experienced a summer that was truly magical
that hole you left?
gone
it left me whole

but wait,
today I slowed down
this life caught up with me
I'd forgotten what's important

this morning I severed some ties,
vowed to make some changes
my desicion left me feeling right,
happy even.

yet
I came home tonight and found an unwanted guest
the hole
right here in my chest
almost like before
but now, bigger

it wasn't healed
just covered,
for a while

There is only one person who has the ability to always make you happy, and that's yourself.



Othello

Yesterday I read the Shakespeare play Othello.

I don't understand why Shakespeare always has to kill everyone off in the end.

:)

I'm happy. Like really happy. My life is great. I just want to smile. ALL THE TIME.

Considering this happy mood I am in I wanted everyone reading this to be happy too. So look at this picture...

... realize it's true. And smile, like me.

pretty fly for a wifi

This is my new home. Not a very good picture, I know. Remember that whole me being nervous and scared to move out business? Well I had absolutely no reason to worry! I am loving life. So much. I love my apartment, I love my roommates, and I love living on my own. Granted, it has only been two days but it has been a pretty darn good two days:)

Now on to the next obstacle in my life. COLLEGE. It is looming before me and try as I might I can't get it to stop coming. I am freaking out. Every time I think about it I tear up. It's pretty bad. Hopefully it will be like this whole moving out experience and I will eventually love it. I can see that happening. Maybe.

wait, they don't love you like I love you

I know I blog too much. I have way too much time on my hands lately and nothing better to do. Plus I just love it. My new favorite thing is the website stumbleupon. You find the most interesting things on that sight. It's a more productive waste of time than Facebook or Twitter. Probably.

some nice pictures I "stumbled upon".

this is an angry post

I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I had the worst day of my life (not really but pretty close, I swear). I'm the BIGGEST grump right now. I seriously want to punch someone. Everyone just needs to stop being so freaking annoying.

hates:

slow people
uncomfortable situations
people trying to be cool
not being good enough for someone
messes
when my family doesn't move their laundry into the dryer
people taking advantage of others help
not knowing what to say
not being able to stop crying
having to exercise
mowing the lawn
moving
being scared
feeling unwanted and not loved
being used
trusting someone you shouldn't
life not turning out the way you expected it to
growing up
too much responsibility
sitting home at night
being told what to do
feeling confined
contacts
washing my face
not feeling pretty
light shining in your eyes
the shower always being either too hot or too cold
being forced to watch boring movies
taking naps and waking up twice as tired and cranky
doing so much for someone who does nothing in return
not being appreciated
missing something
not being able to move on with life
hating all of my clothes
little paychecks 
realizing what you should have said to someone long after the conversation
being nervous
not getting what i want
being in pain
blood
people not sharing
waiting for something that never happens
not being skinny
phones that won't delete your messages and then get way slow
hating someone because they have what you want
sending a text and immediately regretting it
dvds that skip
being poor
working with incompetent people
being alone
spiders
not knowing how to be friends with someone
my neighbors rooster that won't shut up
this blog post
stubborn people
annoying questions
most country music
annoying people
annoying people
annoying people
forgetting to do something until it's too late
quitting something
not being as good as i want at something
swimsuits
mosquito bites
having no where to be
feeling stupid
wasting my time
people i follow not posting on their blogs so i have nothing to read
fake crap people post on facebook
waiting
pretending to be patient when i'm not at all
allowing someone to so easily control my emotions
hurting
not being able to breathe right when i'm so sad
having no good books
not obtaining the perfect schedule i hoped for
gross stuff
regret
making a mistake
guilt
missing out
hoping for something i know will not happen
being a coward
not being able to take a chance
staying up late simply because i feel dumb going to bed way early
not feeling any less angry after writing a thousand things i hate  
 

hakuna matata

it means no worries for the rest of your days

it's our problem-free philosophy 

I am a very shy person. If I am ever around anyone I don't know I hardly speak at all. Some may have assumed me to be a mute. Not really, although that would be pretty cool come to think of it. As I was sitting on my bed pondering today I realized that I have wasted quite a large amount of my life with this whole being shy nonsense. That is all it is, complete and utter nonsense. I have missed many an opportunity to make friends because I was too scared to talk to someone. I have also heard many times that people assume me to be stuck-up or a snob because I never talk to them. I guess they believe that I find myself to be "too cool" for them. That is so far off from the truth. I honestly just wouldn't know how to even start a conversation.

This earlier mentioned pondering led me to a brilliant conclusion: I need to take a stand. I am done being the shy girl sitting in the corner. I am going to be out going. I am going to branch out, make friends, and have more fun. This summer my friends and I have been doing some pretty unusual activities. Some of which have forced me to be more forward with strangers or people I am less acquainted with. It has been some of the best times ever.

I am done letting my life pass me by while I watch sullenly from the sidelines. I am going to take life head on. And have a freaking awesome time with it. Life is flying by so quickly. I can't let it go without making sure I am doing my best to enjoy every second of it.