you hurt me,
you know you did
you left my chest empty

I moved on,
got new friends; got a life.
experienced a summer that was truly magical
that hole you left?
gone
it left me whole

but wait,
today I slowed down
this life caught up with me
I'd forgotten what's important

this morning I severed some ties,
vowed to make some changes
my desicion left me feeling right,
happy even.

yet
I came home tonight and found an unwanted guest
the hole
right here in my chest
almost like before
but now, bigger

it wasn't healed
just covered,
for a while

So so pretty.

I miss my Valentine.



At least I got a cute package from him:)

I just love him more than anything.

this picture makes me cry










I read your words over and over again, partially sustaining myself until I hear from you again.

What is beauty and what does beautiful even mean? The perfect eyes, nose and face? What is the perfect face? I don't know. I don't think anyone really knows.

Today in church a lady bore her testimony and explained that God created us each perfectly. We shouldn't hate our looks because every one of us is beautiful and a sacred creation of Heavenly Fathers. I believe this one hundred percent. Yet, no one looks the same so how can we each be perfect?

I think that maybe Heavenly Father made our appearance perfect for somebody else. Maybe, just maybe, we look like we do because we will be attractive to the person we are supposed to marry. Maybe our looks are designed to attract that person that we are supposed to be with.

Hmm... I'm not sure but I would like to think that's true.

Do you ever miss someone so much it hurts?

I always wanted a twin.

Merry Christmas

I'm already sad that Christmas is over. This Christmas season I wasn't excited or anxious like I usually am, so I was pleasantly surprised by what a great holiday it was. I feel like low expectations always have the best results.

I had such an amazing time being with my family. Now that I don't live with them it's actually kind of fun when we get together haha. I got a lot of great presents! Flowerbomb perfume, an ipod dock, a movie, boots, a blanket, etc. All of my presents were surprises this year which was really fun, and I completely love everything I got! 

One of my favorite presents was a nice surprise email from Josh! It was really good to hear from him on Christmas because I was missing him so much. He sent me a package a couple days before full of food from the MTC: cookies, hot chocolate mix, candy canes, candy bars, etc. I absolutely loved it! Also, at the Warner Christmas party we got to talk to my two cousins who are on missions. We got to talk to my cousin Josh on the phone and we skyped with my cousin Taylor! It was really exciting! I was sad though that because Josh (not my cousin) is at the MTC he couldn't call or skype home. I had no need to worry though because today I received the best surprise ever... a phone call from Joshua!! He was flying to Lubbock and called me from the Dallas airport. I wasn't expecting it at all. Just hearing his voice made me cry. We only had three minutes to talk but it was just perfect.

With all of these missionaries in my life and their influence this Christmas I have been closer to the true meaning of the holiday than ever before. I am so grateful for the gospel in my life. It truly brings me so much happiness. I don't know what I would do without it. Every year hearing about the birth of Jesus give me chills.

Luke 1:1-14
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed...And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city David, which is called Bethlehem... to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men...

My favorite part of the Walker Christmas Eve party is acting out the nativity. We finish it off by singing Silent Night. You feel the spirit so strong and know that it's true.

Christmas truly is magical.

My dad took us kids to Disneyland this past weekend. It was so much fun! Disneyland at Christmas time is amazing. It's decorated so cute, some rides are festive, and the shows are all done to Christmas music. I loved it.

I came home and headed straight over to my apartment to check the mail... THREE letters from Josh! I couldn't be happier:) 

First email and first letter.

Best day ever:)

Joshua and his dog Raspberry.

I love this.

Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I ever did. And honestly it is harder today than it was yesterday. I hope it doesn't follow this pattern and progressively get worse. I love him, I miss him, and I am absolutely terrified that I am going to forget him.

chubs

My mom dropped me off at my apartment today after I had been home all weekend because I got my wisdom teeth out. She decided to go to work so I got to babysit my precious adorable baby brother. Yay:) He got all cuddled up on my bed and pretended to be asleep so I could take a picture.

time and eternity

I literally cannot wait to get married.

Sometimes I'm scared though. I see so many old couples who don't seem to love each other at all. I want to be loved and adored my whole life. Even when I'm all wrinkly. I know I'll love my husband forever. He will always be the most handsome man in the world. I hope he will feel the same about me.


I know who I want to marry. Maybe I'm too young to know that and maybe I'm wrong. But if I did marry him I'd be the happiest and luckiest girl in the world.

 Josh and I went shopping yesterday.

This is my favorite shirt I got.

Also, I just barely finished my first ever college test! Pretty impressive, I know.



Josh got his mission call! Lubbuck, Texas mission! I am so happy for him and so so proud of him! He is going to make an incredible missionary. I am excited for him to go but I miss him already.

contrary to popular belief

Some of the best things in life are the little enjoyable occurrences that happen randomly throughout your day. Being happy over a huge event is awesome, but sometimes I prefer being happy over the little things.

Today a certain person called me. I was so happy that once we hung up I started singing about it. "He called me. He called me". Over and over again, just like that.

It was nice.

Being in college I feel so insignificant. I'm just one of thousands of people at school and no one even notices me or pays particular attention to me. I kind of like it that way.

The insignificance is sort of a lonely feeling too though. I don't have my mom here to care about how my day went. I don't get asked everyday what I learned at school. If I didn't come back to my apartment at night no one would worry. I don't get to kiss my baby brother goodnight anymore. I'm totally on my own. It's bitter-sweet.

lovelys

everyone deserves love

i hate when things are over

undesirable number one
the boy who lived
the chosen one
harry potter


The countdown is complete. Tonight is the night all of us Harry Potter fans have been waiting for. At this point though I find myself not excited at all. Truthfully I am dreading the movie. When the movie is done, Harry Potter will be done. FOREVER. I can hardly get that through my head. 


I started reading Harry Potter during 1st grade. I have been an obsessive fan every since. Come on a road trip with the Walker's and you will find us playing "HP trivia". Our very favorite game. We bought all of the books as they came out, which resulted in us throwing the first four books away because they fell apart from overuse. I have read each book over 8 times. At the very least.

I decided two days ago that I would read HP 7 before the movie came out. I finished it this morning. It made me cry multiple times. I love the Deathly Hallows. Best HP book ever written. After reading that last book for the first time I cried. I couldn't believe the books were over. I was slightly consoled with the fact that the movies were still going. Now they will be done too. Over forever.

I will miss every character from every book. After reading the 7th book my favorite character of all is Snape. Sometimes I pick up HP 7 and only read the chapter in which Harry sees Snape's memories in the penseive. It is so terribly sad and touching.

It is crazy how much some fictional book can effect me. It is slightly embarrassing but I don't even care. I love Harry Potter. Always have and always will.


I hope Harry Potter creates a legacy that lasts forever. 

long live harry potter

this love of ours is terrible news

If I had the choice of possessing any one talent in the world I think I would choose to be musically gifted. I would love to be able to write music, play it, and sing it.

I have attempted multiple times to write a song on the guitar. Every time I fail miserably. I guess music just isn't my forte.







I have to settle with simply enjoying the musical talent of others.