The past doesn't exist anymore.

The future doesn't exist yet.

Squish your thumb and index finger together- the present is smaller than that space.

It's barely exists.

I try to think about the present, but then a second passes and I'm in a new present.

And then that's gone in a blink of an eye.

The past and future don't exist.

The present is so minute it almost doesn't exist either.

Do we exist?



this picture makes me cry










I read your words over and over again, partially sustaining myself until I hear from you again.

hakuna matata

it means no worries for the rest of your days

it's our problem-free philosophy 

I am a very shy person. If I am ever around anyone I don't know I hardly speak at all. Some may have assumed me to be a mute. Not really, although that would be pretty cool come to think of it. As I was sitting on my bed pondering today I realized that I have wasted quite a large amount of my life with this whole being shy nonsense. That is all it is, complete and utter nonsense. I have missed many an opportunity to make friends because I was too scared to talk to someone. I have also heard many times that people assume me to be stuck-up or a snob because I never talk to them. I guess they believe that I find myself to be "too cool" for them. That is so far off from the truth. I honestly just wouldn't know how to even start a conversation.

This earlier mentioned pondering led me to a brilliant conclusion: I need to take a stand. I am done being the shy girl sitting in the corner. I am going to be out going. I am going to branch out, make friends, and have more fun. This summer my friends and I have been doing some pretty unusual activities. Some of which have forced me to be more forward with strangers or people I am less acquainted with. It has been some of the best times ever.

I am done letting my life pass me by while I watch sullenly from the sidelines. I am going to take life head on. And have a freaking awesome time with it. Life is flying by so quickly. I can't let it go without making sure I am doing my best to enjoy every second of it.

if only

how in the world did my life come to this?

i never could have imagined that i would be in the position i am in. life sucks sometimes. right now especially.

 

friends can really let you down.

happily ever after

I have my whole life planned out for me. Move out, go to UVU, become a dental hygienist, get married, have a family, live happily ever after. Blah blah blah. Sometimes that life sounds like a great one and I can't wait for it to come. Recently though I have been taking a second look at "my future". Don't get me wrong, it would be a great life, but where is the excitement?

It feels wrong to have your life planned out. Life will never turn out exactly how you want it to. So why dream up your perfect future and be disappointed when it isn't the fairytale you imagined it to be? Everyone has a tough life in some way or another. "No one said it would be easy, they only said it would be worth it". Cliche, but true. I say, live your life. Do what makes you happy. The perfect life will find you. As it says in Dan in Real Life: "instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised".

All of this aside, I do plan on a happily ever after.

i quit

this whole 30 day challenge thing was too much for me. i give up.

it's summer time!! 

i still can't believe it.

i'm not even excited yet because it hasn't hit me.

but when it does i'm going to be so happy.

i am a Timpview High School graduate.

pretty sweet. i know.

i'm an 18 year old high school graduate.

i'm not ready for this.

in the words of taylor swift:

"oh i don't want to grow up, wish i never grew up
i could still be little
oh i don't want to grow up, wish i never grew up
it could still be simple"


that song makes me cry
 

never grow up

day sixteen: a picture from two years ago

I feel like I don't look any different in this picture from two years ago then I do now. But when I compare this picture to one taken of me recently I can see how much I have changed.

I was a sophomore then and now I am a high school graduate (as of yesterday).


I'm not ready to be all grown up.

as tears go by

day thirteen: something that makes you cry

way to many things make me cry. it's kind of ridiculous.

elderly people make me cry. when i see an older person shopping or something and they are obviously struggling to even walk it makes me so sad. i feel so bad for them and i worry that they are lonely. i think lonliness is one of the worst feelings a person can feel.

it also makes me cry when i go out to eat and i see someone eating by themself. i don't know why but it really is the saddest thing. sometimes even when i am home alone and eating by myself i feel so sad for myself i want to cry.

food

day twelve: your favorite place to eat

i love food. i love going to eat pretty much every where.

i'll make a list of some of my favorite places.

taco bell

panda express

cafe rio

macaroni grill

cheesecake factory

mama chus

gurus

mi ranchito

that's obviously not all but i'm not really in the mood to think of the rest. so there ya go!

this is me

day one: introduce yourself with a picture and facts.

Yep that's me. Me and my little brother Mitchell.

My life isn't exciting. It in fact is quite boring. But, just in case you are really bored and have absolutely nothing else to read, I will share some random little tidbits about myself.

• i am turning 18 in less than a month.
• i am the oldest of four kids.
• i am dating an amazing boy named joshua.
• i work at jamba juice at uvu.
• i am attending uvu next year on a full tuition scholarship.
• i like to sing.
• my favorite colors are purple and turquoise.
• i love sugar.
• i like to watch movies.
• i love thunder storms.
• i love reading books. i'm obsessed with harry potter.
• i love music. i try to play the piano and guitar.
• i have a pet fish.
• i love boots.
• i'm a cry baby.
• i'm a very negative person.
• any little thing can make my day. or ruin it.
• i want to be a dental hygienist. i think.
• i'm a super jealous person.
• i'm sick of school.
• i'm terrified to grow up.
• sometimes life gets the best of me but i'm learning to find the good in every situation.
• my favorite thing is sleeping outside and watching the stars.
• i love food.
• i love to day dream.

welcome to my life

So this is the first time I'm blogging and I honestly have no idea what to even write about. So I'm going to do the whole '30 day blog challenge' thing:

1. Introduce yourself with a picture and facts
2. Your best friend
3. Your parents
4. Your siblings
5. A memory from your childhood
6. Your favorite book
7. Your favorite song
8. Something that makes you happy
9. Your favorite movies
10. A recent dream you had
11. Your favorite place to travel
12. Your favorite place to eat
13. Something that makes you cry
14. First Love
15. Something you crave
16. A picture of two years ago
17. Your favorite TV shows
18. What's in your bag
19. Something you regret
20. Your pet peeves
21. What is hanging in your bedroom
22. Your celebrity crush
23. The town you live in
24. A birthday memory
25. Your fears
26. Something that upsets you
27. Something that makes you feel better
28. Your celebrity crush
29. Something that you miss
30. Your aspirations

We will see how this goes.