The past doesn't exist anymore.

The future doesn't exist yet.

Squish your thumb and index finger together- the present is smaller than that space.

It's barely exists.

I try to think about the present, but then a second passes and I'm in a new present.

And then that's gone in a blink of an eye.

The past and future don't exist.

The present is so minute it almost doesn't exist either.

Do we exist?



Prepare yourself for a typical "my life sucks I miss the past" post. I just couldn't help myself.


I miss living right by Ashleigh. I miss the time I punched her tooth out on the playground. I miss our sleepovers when she would fall asleep before the previews were even over. I miss giving back and foot and leg massages. Our "sisters in heaven" song we played and sang together on the piano. I miss brownies and Dennis the Menace.


I miss Emily and Bronwen and our notebook. I miss having a love for llamas and Mrs. Willy. I miss the time that Emily and I were partners in math and Bronwen was so upset she had her mom pick her up. I miss us dressing up and dancing on the side of the road. Finding boys addresses and creeping on their houses. I miss office aide with Emily and sneaking Brownen out of class. Swenson walking in on me every time I would do something naughty. I miss laughing, laughing until I cried, more than I really have ever since.


I miss wolfpack with Jessica. I miss taking weird pictures and writing notes in between every class. I miss watching movies in her basement. I miss fighting about her lipgloss that I used too much of. I miss our step aerobics class and talking about boys.

I miss Carlie and Lexis. I miss doing photo shoots. I miss going on runs past the cute tennis players. I miss making videos. Videos of anything, what not to wear, music videos, random interviews. I miss our epic Christmas party in Lexis' basement and trips to the chiropractor.


I miss going to Magleby's all the time. I miss Kendal taking care of me and bringing me soup every time I got sick. I miss the time we did crunches in her room to Kanye West, laughing our heads off imagining her brother walking in. I miss squishing in my tiny bed talking all night until we fell asleep. I miss the OC.

I miss playing outside at Tarryn's house. Spying on her next door neighbor, jumping off the roof, and shaving my legs on her trampoline. I miss us all taking baths in her awesome tub. I miss making food every Sunday and going to the temple every Tuesday. I miss the time I gave her a foot massage in exchange for her reading me her journal. I miss dancing to Hannah Montana in her basement and sitting in the back of our moms car the "cool way". I miss inside jokes.

I miss the weekends when Becca and I would get all dolled up and just drive around all night. Creeping on peoples houses and somehow getting into the most awkward situations that would make us laugh so hard we couldn't breathe. I miss going to Will's three times a night. I miss this summer when we would dance on the round-a-bout and the time we stopped at the park at one in the morning and ran through the sprinklers. I miss Park City. I miss dance parties at rock canyon park and in Macy's parking lot. I miss laying in the middle of the road.

I miss Zoe. I miss her making me pretty and watching her dance. I miss the time she came to the park with me in the middle of the night and sat for an hour in the freezing cold. I miss going to senior ball together. I miss sharing clothes. I miss her awesome family. I miss her making fun of me. I miss our trips to DI and going to Taco Bell basically every single day of our lives. I miss my best friend.


I truly miss you all.

So so pretty.

I miss my Valentine.



At least I got a cute package from him:)

I'm happy and complete and whole. I'm exactly where I am supposed to be.